There and Back Again...

So, funny story. Three months ago I would NEVER have imagined that by April I would find myself moving across the country... again... with a new full-time job. Jokes on me!

After the dropping of the jaws finish, a lot of people ask me why in the world I am doing this. I'm going to explain, so grab some popcorn, cross your legs and join the Leesa story hour. 

It all started in January when I was visiting my family for Christmas. I was driving in the car, not really thinking about anything when I got the impression that I needed to move back to Utah. My first thoughts: 'Was that for real? You've got to be kidding me. Remember all those times you said you would never move back to Utah. Remember how much you love New York and how you want to build your life there? Remember how freaking cold this winter has been and how summer is the reward for my suffering? Remember how magical summer in the city is? It's way better than the movies make it out to be. This cannot be happening. This cannot be happening. I won't do it.'

The NYC Roommates. Good, good times!

It took me two months to listen. I knew what I heard wasn't from me from the first moment and it was confirmed later in my heart. But during those two months I ran out of tears praying that He would help me come around to the idea and trust Him. That He would forgive me for being angry and upset with Him. And that I would want to go back to Utah. I love my family and my friends in Utah and am stoked about being with them again, but I'm not too happy about the location. There are pros and cons to every living situation, but for me the cons outweigh the pros when it comes to the beehive state. Everyone would win if we made a mass exodus to the east coast. ;-) Go back to your roots Utah. After all, it did all start in New York.

So what finally got me to take some action? Well, I got some explanation about why I needed to go (which I am super grateful for). But ultimately when I was honest with myself I realized I needed to rearrange my priorities. There was a lot of changing I needed to do and I knew the wonderfulness of the city in the summer wouldn't make up for the empty feeling I would have knowing that I didn't listen to the one who has my best interest at heart. That's when the peace came followed by a lot of confusion and darkness. The biggest push happened last Sunday when I read Elder Holland's talk called "Cast not away therefore your confidence." I knew I needed to go when I read "If God has told you something is right, if something is indeed true for you, he will provide the way for you to accomplish it."

And He did. But seriously, He really did. 

The crew doing what we do best... eating.

The rest happened in a flash. 
Rather quickly a friend fell into my lap and took over my lease.
I only applied for the one job in Utah that I wanted and after two interviews I got an offer. 
I was given a lot of responsibility at work that pushed me hard and got me ready for the new job.
My heart was changed from fear, anger and sadness to excitement, hope and joy. 
The list goes on...

He really has made it happen. There are a few more loose ends that need to be tied up, but I'm not worried anymore. Of course, it won't be all roses from here on out. Realistically, life will probably be really hard for the next few months. I will miss New York and the amazing friends I made there. I will have to take a leave of absence from Instagram so I don't cry myself to sleep. ;-) A new job is always a challenge, but I will be working with a bunch of people I know and have worked with in the past. The easy parts, like being with family again and getting to experience the birth of my best friend's first baby, will be fantastic. 

Aunt Leesa has returned! 

I hope someday there will be another 'there (UT) and back(NY) again'. But in the meantime I am going to be comforted by knowing that I am doing what I feel like I was prompted to do.